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riju

Valenone and Riju

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riju   

I will introduce myself by opening up my past experiences to you

Skip the reading of the past if you just want to know why im reaching out to you.

                                Past

I am 23 year old male. I live in finland. I have 4 siblings 2 parents alive. I have practiced meditation since early childhood by accident. I used meditation since age of 6 to deal with negative emotions that weighted me heavily. It started from a thought,  i wanted to find a way to deal with issues of others. My family. I created three golden rules to myself as child to be on the path i want be in. I wanted to help my family but i thought i didnt have the understanding then. I began to pray to emptiness. "Let all my family have good healthy happy life, Give them everything that i am, let their hurt be directed to me, let me suffer their pain and give all to good what is coming for me for them. 

I lived many hard years for me then. 

Up to age 4 my family was functioning. Then things took change for a worse. I began wondering solution to fix them at young age even before i had seen what was about to happen. My father abused my mother at night, we children in family tried to protect our mother from violent paranoid behaviour of my father. It happened in episodes. I noticed it soon what was going on with my father. He suffered from acts of psycosis. It was triggered use of heavy drugs. My mother so beautiful turned in addiction towards alcoholism, brothers used their issues to justify the violence they cause by seeing a potential threat in bad social network of people. Many "dangerous" "lower class" "drugadict"people gathered here around them. Used their time to come up with bad influence of envioroment. My two little sisters both so strong and wise in many ways. 

Year after year these problems and insanity in my family, every night i let open prayer. 

Let me suffer for the sake of my family, let my good and everything positive be given unto them. Each time the load got heavier. I felt it all. The pain of everyone around me all the time. Trying to find a way to ease myself i let myself develop dellusions. I kept talking with other in my mind. Connecting them. Age 14 year 2008. I was in deep depression spend weeks staying in house just not doing much else but wonder and relive all the anxiety,fear  and pain i put myself in order to understand more to find a way to fix my family well being. At this time i had witnessed, my brother allmost killing someone by accident, father abusing me my family, mother going in insanity using her whole being drinking her pain away and causing pain for us, sister losing her path in life turning to drug sexually abused, oldest brother deep never ending find of hope, my sweetest youngest sister with heart so warm and open that i want to protect her from everything.  I took it all in all their pain driving myself trough madness in order to find solution for easing their suffering. 

Trough these years i always prayed later turned into meditation. When i felt overwhelmed i went to isolation and took myself into my feeling. Analayzing observing everything. Each time finding new fragment of the puzzle never hoping anything good to happen. When i was so excausted by trying to everything right i went isolation praying for something this show me a path. I studied my dream 14-17 years of age. I tried to achieve permenant lucid dream. Dream were one is aware of dreaming. Trough there i learnt from myself. I tried form a connection trough dream to a universal mind and find people in it. Never succeeding excatly, but i live in dreams also. 

I never accepted knowleadge. I only seeked undestanding in most refined way. I shifted my perception to find different angles of things and reality started breaking down to me. I began see everything observer. I realized only way i can learn true way of life is to study what i experience without attachment to anything. Just building understanding. I never believed in anything i just used belief as way to shift perception. Many time i build dellussions for myself and i let myself sink into emptiness and it taking everything away. I purified the obstructs in me as i saw them surfacing. Trying to see beyond every attachment, desire, and fear and let light sink into them purifing it. Each time 

I have felt someone or people connected since child, knowing only their presence. I heard this guiding voice spoke trough understanding in my mind. I listened it to when i was having hard time. I kept reasoning with the insanity to believe this "imagination".

I noticed all the time how much i learned after each relazation. I meditated and wondered in my mind. Observing my body and senses hoping that i find someone to connect. Proving what i feel is true. I use my dreams to meditate. I turned my dreams into a lucid dream were i know im dreaming. I had this one dream that changed me alot and guided me about 6 years ago. I was in this place were there were high leveled beings and people. In dream i wondered were i was. It was kind of like temple but big as any huge building. It had nature inside and staiway towards sky. I walked these stairs until i found a garden. There was a worshipped monk in middle of it. Me and 6 others gathered around him and he communicated to me trough meaning with no speach. This dream showed me my path. I felt as though i understood everything unconsciously but couldt put anything i was feeling into words. 

I shared the dream just to see if you had similar dream? 

Have you been speaking with someone past 23 years in your mind. Because about 4 months ago i felt something big dissapear, kind of like this presence. I read your writing of you personal experiences and you sounded much like me. As if it was writed for me. I got interested in you and i think we both can find something good in sharing our knowleadge and understanding. 

Friend Valenone.

Please permit me to discus/analyse our experiences on this thread. Thanks. This thread will be experimental. We will together meditate and observe the actual results before passing on any judgement/results.

Regarding ;your DREAM.............It seems to give correct idea of heavenly situation in our way. Many of us humans who follow the right path with sincere  help to others are the ones who are climbing up the stairs to heaven. The ones who enter the temple after the stairs are finished are the successful ones. They are called the bhoddisattvas. The monk in the garden is not yet a perfect teacher as he is waiting outside the temple gate  in the garden. This monk wants sons whom he can take along with. This is my interpretation.

Helping Parents and siblings..................You cannot help them permanently. :You can relieve them for sometime by taking away their sufferings. Their ignorance will recreate bad karmas again and again; The drinking and the drugs take away the awareness and the person never learns. Your becoming heavy time and again indicates the overload due to your attachment to the family.

Experiment.....................1st. step.............Pray for them as you have been doing and become heavy.

                                           2 nd. step..............Go away from this atmosphere , try to remain detached and pray to the monk/emptiness to take away your heaviness. Only    when you have ;become                                                                                     light go back to the family. Repeat this process if you get results'

Jhanas...................................If you are successful in doing all this and you are able to prolong lightness with each incident then this means that you are strengthening your OWN JHANAS. This will                                                      reduce your dependence on the monk Their may be huge and many varieties of heaviness that you may be collecting from your family. This means that you have to                                                         handle development of many different Jhanas. And this will extend your learning process from the monk for a long time but it will do you good.

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riju   
2 hours ago, riju said:

I will introduce myself by opening up my past experiences to you

Skip the reading of the past if you just want to know why im reaching out to you.

                                Past

I am 23 year old male. I live in finland. I have 4 siblings 2 parents alive. I have practiced meditation since early childhood by accident. I used meditation since age of 6 to deal with negative emotions that weighted me heavily. It started from a thought,  i wanted to find a way to deal with issues of others. My family. I created three golden rules to myself as child to be on the path i want be in. I wanted to help my family but i thought i didnt have the understanding then. I began to pray to emptiness. "Let all my family have good healthy happy life, Give them everything that i am, let their hurt be directed to me, let me suffer their pain and give all to good what is coming for me for them. 

I lived many hard years for me then. 

Up to age 4 my family was functioning. Then things took change for a worse. I began wondering solution to fix them at young age even before i had seen what was about to happen. My father abused my mother at night, we children in family tried to protect our mother from violent paranoid behaviour of my father. It happened in episodes. I noticed it soon what was going on with my father. He suffered from acts of psycosis. It was triggered use of heavy drugs. My mother so beautiful turned in addiction towards alcoholism, brothers used their issues to justify the violence they cause by seeing a potential threat in bad social network of people. Many "dangerous" "lower class" "drugadict"people gathered here around them. Used their time to come up with bad influence of envioroment. My two little sisters both so strong and wise in many ways. 

Year after year these problems and insanity in my family, every night i let open prayer. 

Let me suffer for the sake of my family, let my good and everything positive be given unto them. Each time the load got heavier. I felt it all. The pain of everyone around me all the time. Trying to find a way to ease myself i let myself develop dellusions. I kept talking with other in my mind. Connecting them. Age 14 year 2008. I was in deep depression spend weeks staying in house just not doing much else but wonder and relive all the anxiety,fear  and pain i put myself in order to understand more to find a way to fix my family well being. At this time i had witnessed, my brother allmost killing someone by accident, father abusing me my family, mother going in insanity using her whole being drinking her pain away and causing pain for us, sister losing her path in life turning to drug sexually abused, oldest brother deep never ending find of hope, my sweetest youngest sister with heart so warm and open that i want to protect her from everything.  I took it all in all their pain driving myself trough madness in order to find solution for easing their suffering. 

Trough these years i always prayed later turned into meditation. When i felt overwhelmed i went to isolation and took myself into my feeling. Analayzing observing everything. Each time finding new fragment of the puzzle never hoping anything good to happen. When i was so excausted by trying to everything right i went isolation praying for something this show me a path. I studied my dream 14-17 years of age. I tried to achieve permenant lucid dream. Dream were one is aware of dreaming. Trough there i learnt from myself. I tried form a connection trough dream to a universal mind and find people in it. Never succeeding excatly, but i live in dreams also. 

I never accepted knowleadge. I only seeked undestanding in most refined way. I shifted my perception to find different angles of things and reality started breaking down to me. I began see everything observer. I realized only way i can learn true way of life is to study what i experience without attachment to anything. Just building understanding. I never believed in anything i just used belief as way to shift perception. Many time i build dellussions for myself and i let myself sink into emptiness and it taking everything away. I purified the obstructs in me as i saw them surfacing. Trying to see beyond every attachment, desire, and fear and let light sink into them purifing it. Each time 

I have felt someone or people connected since child, knowing only their presence. I heard this guiding voice spoke trough understanding in my mind. I listened it to when i was having hard time. I kept reasoning with the insanity to believe this "imagination".

I noticed all the time how much i learned after each relazation. I meditated and wondered in my mind. Observing my body and senses hoping that i find someone to connect. Proving what i feel is true. I use my dreams to meditate. I turned my dreams into a lucid dream were i know im dreaming. I had this one dream that changed me alot and guided me about 6 years ago. I was in this place were there were high leveled beings and people. In dream i wondered were i was. It was kind of like temple but big as any huge building. It had nature inside and staiway towards sky. I walked these stairs until i found a garden. There was a worshipped monk in middle of it. Me and 6 others gathered around him and he communicated to me trough meaning with no speach. This dream showed me my path. I felt as though i understood everything unconsciously but couldt put anything i was feeling into words. 

I shared the dream just to see if you had similar dream? 

Have you been speaking with someone past 23 years in your mind. Because about 4 months ago i felt something big dissapear, kind of like this presence. I read your writing of you personal experiences and you sounded much like me. As if it was writed for me. I got interested in you and i think we both can find something good in sharing our knowleadge and understanding. 

Friend Valenone.

Please permit me to discus/analyse our experiences on this thread. Thanks. This thread will be experimental. We will together meditate and observe the actual results before passing on any judgement/results.

Regarding ;your DREAM.............It seems to give correct idea of heavenly situation in our way. Many of us humans who follow the right path with sincere  help to others are the ones who are climbing up the stairs to heaven. The ones who enter the temple after the stairs are finished are the successful ones. They are called the bhoddisattvas. The monk in the garden is not yet a perfect teacher as he is waiting outside the temple gate  in the garden. This monk wants sons whom he can take along with. This is my interpretation.

Helping Parents and siblings..................You cannot help them permanently. :You can relieve them for sometime by taking away their sufferings. Their ignorance will recreate bad karmas again and again; The drinking and the drugs take away the awareness and the person never learns. Your becoming heavy time and again indicates the overload due to your attachment to the family.

Experiment.....................1st. step.............Pray for them as you have been doing and become heavy.

                                           2 nd. step..............Go away from this atmosphere , try to remain detached and pray to the monk/emptiness to take away your heaviness. Only    when you have ;becom light go back to the family. Repeat this process if you get results'

Jhanas...................................If you are successful in doing all this and you are able to prolong lightness with each incident then this means that you are strengthening your OWN JHANAS. This will reduce your dependence on the monk Their may be huge and many varieties of heaviness that you may be collecting from your family. This means that you have to  handle development of many different Jhanas. And this will extend your learning process from the monk for a long time but it will do you good.

 

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riju   

Valenone wrote..........

I have done this. My family is very healthy now. The way i shared my past was to paint the struggle behind it, portray  feeling from heaviness. What i have done past 2 years is expanding my work. I meet these people with issues give the guide how and clarity with their issues and share my presence with them. Then i take it all and meditate and sleep for few days. Then i recieve the lightness. It is constant. I noticed not very long ago when giving my presence to the people without them dealing the issues causing the bad influence will be energy wasted. I give them solution then clear the issues trough me. This is what i think you mean by jhana. A person who you have this certain energetic flow of connection with. Each of them building more jhanas as they grow. My family is very functioning and happy now. I still keep my work active to ensure contant tranmission between them. The miracle of change in my family happened from cause i made. I can see easily into people deepest intentions. I locate the issue they have and guide them trough it and then take their heaviness. Its always feels hard but i distance myself from it. I take myself to deeper and longer meditation and sleep a lot. Trough this i work trough the heaviness clearing it. Then i visit them again and i can feel the lightness. The problem is i have to deal first with the cycle of people causin bad effect each other. First i clear the major source and from there ease up everyones load. I am very tolerant. I have taken this practise outside of my family as well. 

As far attachments go i have been aware for a very long time what i hold for my family. It is the one thing i refused to let go. It was severed from me not long ago. I cried of sorrow for 2 days when i lost it, only to realize that now i had abilty to fix their life. 

I will meditate now. I will focus on you during my meditation. 

Dear friend,
It is good to learn that you have been on the right path now for some time and your family is healthy. Your attachment to the family is also ok Only keep this attachment to the level where heaviness is in control.
 
Jhanna............Jhanna is WISDOM that connects you to emptiness. The process becomes effortless when a particular WISDOM becomes a Jhanna.  In your case You have created Jhanna connection to the  monk and the process is speeding up. This monk is connected to emptiness of Lotus sutra. So you are indirectly in the loop of circulation with emptiness through this monk.
You said that you will focus on me. If the system is working (with the focus on me) , I am glad to know that I am that monk of your dream. We will both benefit and also benefit others. You can be the source of a SON for the monk ,who is waiting outside the gate of heaven for you.

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